aprilpalmer15

Why did I choose to take all of your blame? Why does the way I feel create my shame? Why is my heart filled with so much regret? Why does thinking of us make me upset? Why does imagining you break my heart? Why do I wish that we were not apart? Why can I not get over you my dear? Why do I still want you to be right here? Why can I never in my mind realize? Why can't I see that you are my demise? Why?

Every word you said... Every tear I shed... Now more than anything I wish to be dead... Yet no matter how hard I try I can't get you out of my head.

There is no point to my life. No one loves me, or even has the decency to care about me. I may be a little different, but that is no reason to completely cast me out. I can't do anything to make anyone happy no matter how hard I try. I guess I can never amount to anything in anyone's eyes. I must do something to make them happy…I know… it's something that I must do. I will end my life. When I do, not a single person will care, they will only be happy. My sadness and despair only brings them happiness and when I end it all they will be even happier because they were victorious in destroying my life. They always did enjoy bringing me

My life is pointless. No one can or ever will love me. No one could love someone like me. I'm fat, ugly, stupid, and a monster- a combination that makes me unlovable and unbearable. Everything is a waste of time. I don't get the point of this life. If you are fat and ugly and don't have the "certain qualities" that are desired, you are thrown out like garbage. That is exactly what has happened to me- except I must live through the torture, without love or anything else of importance. I've always heard that one of the main purposes of life is to love or be loved, but I guess I wasn't thought of because I can't be loved and I don't know how to

I will end it all, because when I do no one will care. I will end it all, because you will finally be happy when I do it. I will end it all, because my pain and suffering would be over. I will end it all, because I have nowhere to go in this life. I will end it all, because I was never truly loved anyways I will end it all, because I was never truly happy. I will end it all, because I'm tired of hiding my feelings. I will end it all, because I don't want to burden you any longer. I will end it all, to escape the torture I brought to you. I will end it all, because everything I do brings you shame. I will end it all, because

Life is a mystery, Whether it is good or bad is unknown. What is the value of life? For some it is preservation, For others it is destruction. Life is a puzzle with a piece missing- You can try to solve it, But it will never be complete in the end. Is there really a point to life? Or do we just live and die, Hoping to be successful in between the two? I will never know, But I guess living is the best one can do until the mystery is solved.  

I've been blinded, I couldn't see. Why didn't you open my eyes for me? I though you would be there, But your words turned to lies. I never thought that you would be my demise.

I'm sorry that I'm not pretty like the others. I'm sorry that I'm ugly. I'm sorry that I am unbearable to look at. I'm sorry that I'm so fat. I'm sorry that I don't look picture perfect like the rest of you. I can't help it. I'm sorry that I'm so cold. I'm sorry that I'm a heartless monster. I'm sorry that I'm so different from you, a freak. I may not do things the same way as you or even like the same things that you are interested in, so I'm sorry that I'm so crazy. It is a part of me that refuses to leave no matter how hard I try to make it go away. I'm sorry for existing. I'm sorry for being an earthquake to your precious little world

Remember the innocent me? The one who didn't realize how messed up the world was? The one who trusted what she heard and believed what she was told? Remember the girl who never cared about the problems that she faced because she had someone standing behind her supporting her? Remember the girl that was stupid and oblivious about everything? Do you remember the girl who said "I love you" with the innocence of a child? I remember her too, but that was the past. She is now dead.